I grew up in a Christian society, but have no belief in the supernatural. I like early church architecture, early church music and occasionally enjoy reading about the lives of the saints.
At the age of eight or maybe nine, I made two visits to Holy Island (Lindisfarne), once with my family, once on a school trip. Quite what I experienced, and when, has blurred in the memory. But it was undoubtedly my first experience of religion. I remember standing alone and staring at the statue of St. Cuthbert set amongst the remains of the Lindisfarne Priory. In the distance was Banburgh Castle, in between the cold North Sea. I knew the names of what I was looking at because of my parents and because, looking back, my junior school really was quite good at teaching local history.
In time I attended church services once a month as a cub and then boy scout; first at a Presbyterian church, then a Methodist chapel, finally I got to know Church of England services after we’d moved as a family from Northumberland to Devon. At more or less the same time, came the moment at school when, sitting in compulsory religious education class, I thought, I don’t believe any of this!
My father had a chapel upbringing in a village outside of York, he bicycled, often with his elder brother, to a secondary school in the city whose skyline is dominated by the Minster. Yet it appears the first family member to step inside, was his brother, aged twenty-one. Father trained to become an architect and town planner, and in time he introduced us children to many of the great cathedrals, Durham, St. Paul’s, St. David’s and Westminster Abbey. I got to see the reinforced under-croft of York Minster, the new floor and ceiling of the tower struck by lightning. We explored the slopping roof of Exeter! The list goes on, though my favourite is Lincoln which I discovered for myself. I’ve sat and contemplated in many, listened to wonderful music, but never doubted for a second that they were built by men, for men.
Most people in society believe in a Christian god whether they be church goers or not, I’m in the minority and must accept their world. A society designed by believers, it’s ‘the water we swim in.’ I believe I have the same spiritual feelings they do, but I ascribe them to the ‘awe’ effect of nature. Best explained, so far, as Darwinian evolution by natural selection. Occasionally, some believers say I embody some of the Christian virtues, that God is within me too, I find that most annoying!
Churches were once at the centre of British community life; they brought people together. Rituals, repeated physical movements often choreographed with others, leading to shared emotions and shared thoughts. They become reassuring to us over time, giving a sense of certainty and control in the uncertain world of this kingdom by the sea.
Other denominations and other religions still have many of the positive attributes I’ve alluded to, whilst the Church of England with every development or adaptation it makes seems to alienate its followers. Does is ever cancel those changes? No, it carries on with a progressive agenda whilst the congregation shrinks even more. Worse, it makes its organisation more and more top heavy, more bishops, more specialists in one thing or another, less people walking the streets of any community, drawing fewer people in. I’m told there has been a recent, modest rival in religious belief, but precious few head to the established church, the state religion. The monarch does little to promote it, the principal broadcaster even less. To me as an outsider, they seem to suffer from the same consequences as other growing organisations, as they proscribe more and more detailed rules of personal conduct, the bureaucracy that creates them, becomes more and more self-interested, increasingly ignoring their mission.
So, what of that mission, what does a non-believer make of the bible itself. I’ve never doubted that Jesus lived, and that the New Testament is a pretty good stab at history for the time when it was written, as well as being a useful guide on how to live a good life. One of its virtues is it presents four accounts, the best that could be found amongst the many others on offer. That it allows contradictory accounts is a strength. I wonder at those who insist the gospels be taken literally, haven’t they noticed?
To take the bible out of its historical context is unfair. If people believed at the time that many of the events had miraculous elements to them, so be it. Since the scientific revolution successive generations have attacked Christian beliefs with rationalism, but to little effect. People may not attend church, but putting faith in the power of other worldly forces seems as popular as ever. It is a cohesive force bringing people together in causes both virtuous and well, better a united army than a divided one? And a way of marking, and coping with life’s inevitable events, of births, marriages and deaths.
There is much to be admired in the followers of Jesus, whether it be Saint John Henry Newman, who as a result of his conversion found himself creating a new university and writing the Idea of a University; or Saint Therese of Lisieuix knowing she would die of consumption at a young age, asking what contribution could she make, however small, to the wellbeing of others and then making it happen. It seems to me as a non-believing outsider, vaguely raised in a protestant environment, that the catholic church is more intriguing and interesting, or perhaps just more colourful! The Reformation seems to have brought nothing but trouble, to England at least. Church architecture goes into decline, so too music made by the human voice in those spaces, certainly after Tallis and Byrd! And the catholic church seems to keep at least one foot in human nature and is accepting of a version of evolution.
There is no evidence of snow at Christmas in the holy land, but there is magic at Christmas. Christina Rossetti, an Anglo-Catholic, who struggled with depression wrote, A Christmas Carol (In the Bleak Mid-Winter) first published in 1872. Then in 1906 Gustav Holst’s set it to music whilst visiting Cranham in Gloucestershire, where it definitely does snow at Christmas, once in a while!
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